April 17th, 2008

Pride and Prejudice - murder

Posted from Amsterdam airport

9 hours in, and I already have to vent. >.>

Consider, if you will, the sardine. It spends its life free, swimming in the wide ocean and enjoying its personal space. But then, cruelly, it is jammed into a tiny metal can with about a gazillion other fellow sardines.

But I would not have you pity the sardine. Truly, they have found their way to take their poetically just revenge on humanity.

It turns out that they are all aircraft engineers/designers for KLM Airways.

Nine hours from Vancouver to Amsterdam, and every single hour of it was like some arcane Chinese torture involving the lopping off of limbs. I can no longer feel my knees. Hell, I can't feel anything below my knees, for that matter. After nine hours of being jammed against the seat in front, my knees are warped, shattered shells of their former glory. It's official, aircraft are built with midgets and amputees in mind. >:(

If that weren't bad enough, the vengeful sardines added a few subtle touches to truly enhance the suffering. The armrests didn't rise to full position, meaning you couldn't spread out onto other seats. The tilt on the seats was cunningly designed so that the person in front of you would be lying full out on your lap while yours made a slight vague tilt in a direction that might be backwards. And to cap it all off, someone ensured that the flight was booked full and there were at least five screaming babies on board.

Needless to say, I didn't sleep, and I'm not currently a happy bunny. ;_;

I'm looking forward to getting to Cairo, both for the trip itself and also for the prospect of YAY BED. We still have another 5 hour flight to go.

Thanks to everyone who posted in my last post. As my time at the net cafe is running out, I won't have time to respond, but I'll definitely be reading them to sustain me in the flight ahead.

In the meantime, I hope I at least amused you all somewhat. ;-)
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