Usagi Vindaloo (usagivindaloo) wrote,
Usagi Vindaloo
usagivindaloo

ARG NO FAIR

I really, REALLY have to learn to stop being such a good worker. I keep thinking that by being a good worker, I will get all the really cushy, "ya dun wrry just relax" jobs. Instead, I seem to be the go-to person for the, "We need you to start this instant and finish yesterday, so drop anything remotely resembling free time" jobs. And now they're coming at me from OUTSIDE Ocean.

My latest project is a live action samurai drama that was offered to me by one of the translators I worked with through Ocean. This sounds AWESOME AND DEEP AND EDGY except when you realize that samurai dramas are the Japanese equivalent of soap operas. At one point I had to write the direction for the heroine to engage in, "GRIEFSTRICKEN CRYING ADLIB" when what I really wanted to write was, "OVERACT AND GO RED ALL OVER WHILE SHRIEKING IN AN OVERDRAMATIC WAY". Plus they DON'T STOP TALKING. EVER. Gorram it, I want to see samurais fighting each other with swords, not endless talking heads. Although then there was a fight scene in the episode I was writing, and I wanted to get back to the talking heads. >.>

Did I mention each episode was 43 minutes long? >.>

Having said that, I confess I'm still glad to have taken the job. For one thing, I'm being paid $15 per running minute, so $700 an ep is in no way to be sneezed at... especially since I've been starved for work since Death Note finished. For another, it's really interesting to try working on a live action dub for once. It's a lot more challenging as there tend to be lots of awkward pauses... but in some ways, it's easier, as I never have to worry about the original Japanese not matching the lip flaps. ;-) And despite my general malaise over the series itself, it has a few redeeming features; the main "antagonist" is actually pretty darned awesome in that badass Saito Hajime kind of way. Plus I found out by accident that watching a samurai drama on fast-forward is made of win. Chipmunk samurai fights ftw.

So, enough of work. Time for goofy fun, care of the, "Compare your fandoms to boyfriends" meme, which has been floating around my flist from time to time but is, today, brought to you by megalomaniageek.



1. The one who seduced you and fucked you over and broke your heart in a million pieces and laughed about it.

I would say Pirates of the Carribbean. It's not that I hate the second and third movies, but to me they'll never hold a candle to the first, and I dislike the characterization of Will Elizabeth a lot of the heroes. Not to mention I found myself unable to ship the obvious OT3 after certain events. Perhaps it didn't break my heart, but the romance sort of died.

Honorable Mention must go to Final Fantasy VII, which breaks my heart with every step of the Complication Compilation.

Also, in the same vein, World of Warcraft is the one who SEEMED nice enough at first but then I thought about it and realized he was actually a douche who was keeping lore secrets from me, and now I end up crying every time I get to the end of Heroic Magister's Terrace. ;_;

2. The old flame you don't see very often any more but whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant nostalgic romp in the sheets.

Sailor Moon. Obviously, I still romp with this fandom quite often thanks to my Seph/Hotaru stories taking place in the Sailor Moon verse, but I've sadly fallen out of reading other fanfiction.

Also, I'd argue Deep Space Nine might also count.

3. The mysterious dark gothy one whom you used to sit up with talking until 3 a.m. at weird coffeehouses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized he really was fucking crazy.

Hmm, tough one. I'm going to have to go with Naruto, I think. I used to love that show to death, but as soon as I started to poke around the fandom I realized that that way lay madness. Plus the filler sort of sent me screaming the other direction, and I've never been brave enough to return.

Also, I stay away from the following fandoms because I KNOW they'd end up in this category: Death Note, Full Metal Alchemist, Harry Potter.

4. The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor, and whom you'd still really like to fuck again although you're relieved he doesn't actually live in town.

Kingdom Hearts. I know it's goofy, and the story has plot holes the size of craters, and the fandom is full of utter and complete batshit, but I still have my Seph/Tifa epic I want to write, and damnit, I still have love for it. ^^

5. The steady.

Final Fantasy VII, of course. I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU. *glomps Sephiroth*

6. The alluring stranger whom you've flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with.

World of Warcraft (the fandom/lore, not the game). There are parts of it that I'm really into (Illidan, Kael, Vashj, Thrall, Jaina), parts of it I think are overrated (Arthas, Uther, hell pretty much anything to do with paladins), and parts that are just failing to hook me (Dragonflight, Malfurion, Medivh). I'm still trying to figure out if my mad passion for the stuff I like is worth taking it to the next level. >.> And whether it's worth enduring Blizzard's continual butchery of the lore.

7. The one you hang out with and have vague fantasies about maybe having a thing with but ultimately you're just good buddies 'cause the friendship is there but the chemistry ain't.

Death Note. I love it, and admittedly you can't get any deeper into a fandom than writing the actual freaking dub script, but I still don't see us connecting on an internet fandom level. Don't get me wrong, I have fantasies of the sort of thing I'd like to see... elaborate what if epics ("what if Light didn't kill Lind L Tailor/Raye Pember/what if L got the notebook/what if Light kept some of his "nice" Yotsuba personality after recovering the notebook/etc etc") and deep challenging fic about the questions of justice, or even some good suspense investigation drama. But I know all it will be is Light/L, Matt/Mello, Mello/Near, etc etc etc... Also, see #3.

Honorable mention also goes to CSI: Las Vegas... I could see certain elements appealing to me in terms of fanfic (I'd read good Grissom/Sara or Grissom/Lady Heather or Grissom/Catherine... huh, see a trend?) but I think I prefer just watching it on TV when I want to kill a few braincells.

8. The one your friends keep introducing you to and who seems like a hell of a cool guy except it's never really gone anywhere.

In terms of fandoms I've gotten somewhat involved with: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel. I know it will be a love to last the ages, as I've really loved all the episodes I've seen of it... not to mention I occasionally get mad cravings for Buffy/Angel fic (my OTP). But I can't bring myself to watch the entire series because DAMN, downer much?

In terms of fandoms I'm not into yet but keep hearing about: I keep meaning to give Bleach a shot but it's SO daunting due to its length, I feel like I would have had to start from the beginning. Also, Heroes and Battlestar Galactica keep threatening to draw me in, but without access to the series from the beginning I'm never going to get into them at this rate.

9. The one who's slept with all your friends, and you keep looking at him and thinking, "him? how the hell did he land all these cool babes?"

The Gundam series, specifically Gundam Seed and Gundam Wing. To be honest, with the exception of Zechs (har har I are shallow) I've never felt a big urge to see these series, and I fail to see the huge excitement over them. Perhaps because so much centers around Big Mechs and WAR (all caps), neither of which get me going unless done very well (Eva excelled in the former, FMA in the latter).

10. The one your friend has fallen for like a ton of bricks and whom she keeps babbling to you about on the phone for hours, and you'd be happy for her except you just know it's going to end badly.

Hrmm, that's a toughie. I admit concern for the friends who are into Loveless just because I hear vaguely icky things about that series. :P Also, I tend to feel this about ANYONE who enters an RP of any sort, just because I know how these things can spawn drama. Of course, not all of them do, so take it as you will. ^^

11. The one who gave you the best damned summer of your life and who you measure all other potential partners against.

Firefly. Even though I never really immersed myself in the fanfiction end of things, it remains the best damn fandom in the history of ever. Extremely well spoken fans who actually RESPECT each other and their pairings, next to no character hate, overall good quality fanworks, and of course a thriving RL network of fellow fans. I will always, always be a Browncoat. ^^

BONUS: The one(s) you've gone on a couple dates with and would like to get to know better.

Doctor Who. I watched the first four episodes of the "new series" (Christopher Eccleson... last thing I remember happening involved some sorts of farting aliens taking over Britain's government). I really, REALLY liked what I saw. I keep meaning to sit down and devote a few days to the rest of it... companion shipping and all.



And because I have no life... why don't we try it again, only with pairings? ;-) (Feel free to pass THAT on as a meme if it hasn't been already XD)



1. The one who seduced you and fucked you over and broke your heart in a million pieces and laughed about it.

Canon-wise: Will/Elizabeth. Things were going so well and they were so CUTE AND DAWW AND WIN and then the end of the second movie happened. WUT. And then Will caught a fatal case of the douche and ended up backstabbing everyone including his beloved, pretty much. And then they finally get over THAT and the wedding is the Most Awesome Thing in the Universe, and he gets a fatal case of the dead. He got better! Sort of. They have sex once then have to wait for ten years. Man, way to totally destroy my faith and hope in the universe, Disney. Good going. >:(

Fandom-wise: Sephiroth/Cloud. I tried to make it work, I really tried. And there was pretty, lots of pretty. But then I realized that I disliked the ship itself, then grew to hate it, and then it started beating up my homegirl Tifa, and now we're not speaking to each other. I might be tempted by particularly pretty doujinshi, but I'm afraid that's it now. ;_; So sad.

2. The old flame you don't see very often any more but whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant nostalgic romp in the sheets.

Oh god, SO SO many. I really get around with my old loves.

Belle/Beast from Beauty and the Beast. I don't care if it makes me a furry, but something about that movie makes me all misty eyed. Wish I could find more fic for it.

Also, I'd add Cloud/Tifa to this category. Their love is all kinds of love and win and awesome. Having said that, I tend to only enjoy the more "explicit" stories, not necessarily in terms of sex but in terms of their relationship. Yet another story of their family life together where nothing's ever said but there are lots of awkward smiles and gestures and stuff is all well and good, but I prefer one where they actually get to talk to each other about how they feel... or, you know, Cloud screwing Tifa silly also works. ;D

Elizabeth/Darcy from Pride and Prejudice also get massive massive love, as do Colonel Brandon/Marianne from Sense and Sensibility. The former is my perfect bit of stoic/witty love based on mutual respect, while the latter is somehow reassuring that one can have both stability AND love and romance.

Lastly, I would feel bad not finding a place in this meme to mention Odo/Kira from Deep Space Nine. God, their love is so poignant and beautiful. ;_; I find myself returning to the same fanfics again and again just to get my Changeling/Bajoran fix. Also Changeling pr0n is win =D

3. The mysterious dark gothy one whom you used to sit up with talking until 3 a.m. at weird coffeehouses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized he really was fucking crazy.

This is always a tough one. I can't think of a pairing that I used to really like and then grew to realize was insane; Seph/Cloud or Seph/Vincent might count but I was never that into either of them.

Wait, I know! When I was a little itty bitty kid, I used to ship... get this... He-Man/She-Ra. Yep. I thought they were just the perfect couple, all cute and color coordinated and soooo affectionate with each other... only as I grew up could I look back and say, "Wait a minute... when did I become an incest shipper?"

Also, as a teenager, I remember thinking that Michael Jackson and Deanna Troi sort of looked the same and would be a cool couple. Now... actually, I still think it would have potential, but I can see the brainbreaky a mile away. ;-)

4. The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor, and whom you'd still really like to fuck again although you're relieved he doesn't actually live in town.

Sephiroth/Tifa. While #5 remains my standard for romance, this is my "one night stand, bed breaking sex" pairing. It's all about the lust and tension and dysfunction and goddamnit Sephiroth and Tifa are HOT and thus being together is twice as HOT.
Also, Sephiroth/Larxene, for the same reasons. ;-)

5. The steady.

Sephiroth/Hotaru. There will never ever be another pairing that means as much to me. ^^ It has everything... romance, desire, redemption, eternal love, respect, healing... and if that weren't enough, a single twist and it can all be so deliciously dark and dysfunctional and GOD I LOVE THIS PAIRING WHY DOESN'T EVERYONE GODDAMNIT NOMURA PUT HOTARU IN THE NEXT COMPLICATION SO SHE AND SEPHIROTH CAN START WITH MAKING ONE WINGED BABIES.

6. The alluring stranger whom you've flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with.

Buffy/Angel. It's one of the Jossverse pairings that I truly squee over, and it has all the elements I like (hot guy, check, hot broody guy, check, hot broody romantic VAMPIRE guy, check). Again, though, I haven't watched all the series... not only that, but although I've seen all the really beautiful angsty romantic episodes that depict their twu wub (e.g. I Will Remember You) I haven't seen the episodes where things get ugly.

Also, there's that mysterious Norrington/Elizabeth stranger who's been standing in the corner, perhaps I should get to know him a bit better...

7. The one you hang out with and have vague fantasies about maybe having a thing with but ultimately you're just good buddies 'cause the friendship is there but the chemistry ain't.

L/Misa. This is my, "If you were forced at gunpoint to choose a Death Note pairing to ship" pairing of choice (although I would very happily ship Matsuda/Sayu if so inspired... and the best DN porn I ever read was Ryuk/Sayu of all things) I have to admit, there's tons of potential for hilarity and cute with L/MIsa, not to mention putting the "fuck" in "mindfuck". Plus pornandkittens once produced the hottest and most hilariously IC phonesex between them. Unfortunately, Death Note for me is a series so SOAKED in asexuality that seriously shipping anyone is nearly impossible. Sure, Misa's hot to trot, but trying to imagine L, or Light for that matter, in a romantic or sexual situation besides manipulating someone is nearly impossible. Too bad... the little squawking indignant act L puts on when "someone" touches Misa's butt is adorable.

8. The one your friends keep introducing you to and who seems like a hell of a cool guy except it's never really gone anywhere.

Sephiroth/Zack. I admit, this is one of the few Sephiroth slash ships that doesn't make me want to eject my eyeballs at high speeds, and I've read a lot of excellent fic for the pairing. Having said that... I honestly far prefer to read about their friendship on a totally platonic level. Again, it's a shame because I know a lot of people love the pairing, and I wish I did too. ;_; Though Sephiroth/Aeris/Zack is always a good thing. ^^

9. The one who's slept with all your friends, and you keep looking at him and thinking, "him? how the hell did he land all these cool babes?"

*cough*cough*Sephiroth/Cloud*cough*. Though frankly, I can understand why it lands all the cool babes, just that I can't understand why it lands more than Sephiroth/Tifa which has just as much angst, sex appeal, puppetry and awesome, with the added bonus of extra boobs. All I'm saying that there should be a bit of balance. ;-)

Getting off that old story, I'd also say Hotaru/Chibi Usa. I have NO idea why I have such a negative reaction to the pairing (even more than Seph/Cloud) but there's something about it that boggles me. Maybe it's lingering hatred of "the pink spore". Maybe it's the fact that I kinda ship Chibi Usa with Helios and Hotaru with Sephiroth and NO ONE ELSE ;-). Maybe it's just that I don't get that dynamic from their interactions. Whatever the reason, I'm not feeling it. >.>

10. The one your friend has fallen for like a ton of bricks and whom she keeps babbling to you about on the phone for hours, and you'd be happy for her except you just know it's going to end badly.

I suppose I could list the two pairings I just mentioned above as a lot of my friends like them, but I don't think they're going to end badly.

So instead, I'm going to take a random stab at the dark and say Illidan/Kael'thas. Because holy crap, fanbrats WISH they could destroy ships like World of Warcraft. I weep for my friends who ship this and had TBC toss it back in their faces.

11. The one who gave you the best damned summer of your life and who you measure all other potential partners against.

Sephiroth/Hotaru again. No other pairing can ever compare. ^^

BONUS: The one(s) you've gone on a couple dates with and would like to get to know better.

Thrall/Jaina. Because damnit, Thrall is made of awesome and win and love and if Jaina doesn't want him, I'll have him. >.> There is something so sweet about these two, both fiercely protective of their people yet at the same time eager to help anyone who crosses their path. PLUS THE PORN IS HOT AND THAT IS IMPORTANT. >.>

Illidan/Tyrande. While the previous WoW couple bring sweet fluff, these two bring the angst and bittersweetness and potential for devotion. Illidan's loyalty to Tyrande is quite moving, and I would like to see more of her response to it... because I can't help but feel she cares for him despite all he has done.

Loz/Tifa. I've read a bit, and I liked it. I could certainly see how that fight sequence could become something a little more... "charged", if you will. So far, though, I've only come across fics where it's either AU, love at first sight/screw, or dark disturbed dubcon material; I'd love a longer story where the fluff developed naturally.



Lo, go forth and meme. ^^
Tags: fandom, memes, work
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